1) Marriage and Family are important, but it is important that marriage and family have certain ground rules as it pertains, to keep this under personal control not to let these rule over you. Marriage is a great thing when both parties understand their roles. One person, it doesn't matter who has to be "Ultimate boss in the family" so that disputes can be settled more effectively. For example, in our family it's - whoever brings in the most Money between Myself and my wife is the Boss. This works because we respect each others right to that authority whenever or however it may change in respect to our individual monetary income. This is a criteria that worked for us. You can choose any criteria you wish to use but it is important that this is continuously respected by both sides when authoritative balances shift to the other partner. Children should be taught, and never given to any authority of their own, although giving them some responsibilities is a good idea. We had to learn the hard way that giving a child a bit of authority tends towards their ownership of the weakest parent to give them what they want. If you give them responsibilities, they will learn the value of work, once they understand that, begin by allowing them a bit of authority over things like Birthdays, their friends coming over etc. We have found it does not work to take small privileges away from kids when they don't behave(no TV, stay in your room etc). Spankings don't work that great either if you really love your kids. Grounding them(To school and then strait home), and not letting them have friends over for a given period of time(the time should fit the crime, so to speak) is the best way to punish a misbehaving child. Older kids in their teens will not be out of control when they consistently throughout their younger lives recognize your authority in the home. They may not like it, but it is not a prerequisite for parenting that your kids like you, only that they listen. Teach them this from a young age and they will know it for when they are parents themselves.

2) Don't ever, AND I MEAN EVER let anyone dictate terms for what to do in a given situation. As an individual every situation that can list as standard should be followed as a rule(such as looking both ways before you cross the street) Absolutely do not listen to bossy blowhards without enough experience in their lack of a life to give common sense advice let alone follow it for themselves. These people generally see you on a good and steady path and for whatever the reason will consistently try to take you off of it. The best way to deal with these people is a polite "Get Lost Asshole" and if that doesn't work see my section on curses and blessings(sometimes a blessing is not such a beautiful thing). Incidentally in paid work situations you do what your told because you are getting paid to do so. A fiery attitude towards a blowhard boss will just get you fired. Put up with it.

3) Humans are social creatures and it is unnatural and even unhealthy to keep yourself locked away from the world. Fear not the world that keeps you but that which is in the world you keep. Isolationists (people who spend much of their time alone) tend to create a world around them that is neither real or necessarily accurate. Weather this world is good or bad tends to revolve around the events that take place around them, giving the person a pointed view of things. This creates a world often marred with torment, their own little hell because the human mind dismisses the positive and stresses the negative around it. Negative activity co-notates a threat, and in order for the human mind to work in isolation a threatened existence is necessary, becoming almost like and addiction. The response of fight or flight is negated, and hiding is always the way to solve an issue, yet since the person is not directly involved in conflicts going on around them they become even more withdrawn as fighting is not a reasonable alternative. I've been through this personally and am now becoming aware of who I am and therefore am doing all I can to get rid of this disgusting way of living my life.

4)Be an outgoing person. This is harder than it sounds, because not everyone is going to like you. Surprise yourself by looking for and finding people out there that are in exactly or very closely relative to your situation. It has been said that opposites attract, and while in a love relationship this may be so, in a friendship the same attracts, this is why finding something in common with a friend is so successful and finding too much in common with a lover can become complicated. Two people that are willing to spend a great deal of their time together, intimately or otherwise should not be too much alike. They tend to find all of the things in each other that they do not like about themselves. Although there obviously has to be some common goals in their lives, common interests like hobbies, or even occupations lead too much room to discuss the same point from different points of view, whereas in a friendship this can be done, in a love relationship, especially one that has become intimate, this is a fast route to a series of useless arguments that don't lead anywhere for the relationship to move ahead.

******Common Goals for couples can include things like - Is this a fun relationship we both know will at some point end or are we working towards something more serious in the future. Do we at some point in our lives want children, a house, car, dog (settled family life). etc etc etc. *****

The numbers of goals in a persons life are too numerous to list, but no one person should ever list goals for someone else. Once a serious relationship develops and goals have been agreed on by both sides, it is strongly advised that unless there is agreement by both partners to change, that established goals remain the solid foundation of the relationship that has been built upon them. Let me say that again - IT IS STRONGLY ADVISED THAT ONCE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN DEVELOPED THAT UNLESS THERE IS AGREEMENT BY BOTH PARTNERS TO CHANGE THAT ESTABLISHED GOALS REMAIN THE SOLID FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS BEEN BUILT UPON THEM. Sounds A bit like a business arrangement doesn't it?

Keep in mind that once the relationship has reached this critical point that a commitment of the highest priority is now in order. Common-law may be a proving ground, but to really test the value of a truly loving relationship marriage is the only way to go. Remember that just because you love someone, it does not mean your always going to like them. But it does mean that as long as they are generally treating you well, but just not getting along right now, that forgiveness will occur. Forgive each other before the end of the day. Don't go to bed angry(for those of us who don't get the obvious reason) Makeup sex is the best apology there is!